Violence Against Women
Source: Rwanda Focus
"I don't want to report him to the police," mumbles Nikuze as she sits down, bleeding in the mouth where two teeth have been knocked out by her husband.
Just like Nikuze, there are many women who are beaten by their husbands as domestic violence increases in recent times. "Domestic violence can take various forms," explains Beline Mukamana, inspector with the domestic violence, child abuse and anti-GBV (gender based violence) department of the national police. "We see people who are victims of constant harassment, which sometimes leads to beatings. Some victims are seriously injured while others are even killed."
There are also people whose spouses commit adultery or simply abandon them for another woman, both of which are also considered as part of domestic violence and are punishable by the law when proven.
Yet as in Nikuze's case, there are many victims of domestic violence who don't report the incident. "This is the biggest problem, which continues to make women easy targets of violence is a lack of understanding," points out Goretti Mwenzangu, police inspector and the coordinator of the Isange One Stop Centre for GBV victims. "They are abused, but they take it and keep quite saying that that's how families are built."
That cultural perception can be dangerous, she says. "There are cultures where the perception is that when a woman is not beaten by her husband, he doesn't love her. People need to wake up and realize that times have changed; the way our great-grandparents lived is not suitable to this day and age," Mwenzangu remarks.
The records show that in January of this year, 6 women reported harassment while 19 were beaten. In February 46 women were victims of beating. "Those are only the cases that come to our attention," pointed out Mwenzangu. "But I think that there are more women who don't report than those who do."
"They are abused, but they take it and keep quite saying that that's how families are built."
Besides cultural perceptions, other reasons that keep women from reporting include the desire to keep a person's secret thinking it can be solved at the family level, the refusal to go public out of fear of what other people will think, and the perception that this is how marriage is supposed to be. "They are afraid to go to report as they think that it will be a sign that they have failed to build their marriage, to hold their families together," explains Mwenzangu. "They start blaming themselves for their suffering."
Vicious cycle
Some of the above as well as economic dependence are what kept Nikuze from reporting. "If I report him and he is incarcerated, who is going to help me at home and in my business? There is even some money he needs to get from people to whom he gave things on credit," she keeps saying.
What Nikuze doesn't realize, as Mwenzangu points out, is that next time it happens, she could be killed. "These things are usually a vicious cycle. They can have some time of calm and then it starts again," she says. "If a person who once said he loved you, who fathered your children, can beat you to the point of losing teeth, what tells you it cannot get worse than that?"
According to the records, 5 persons were killed by their spouses in January and 2 in February.
"It is of the utmost importance that people's understanding changes," Mukamana warns. "Understand that life is more important than the pride that keeps you from saying anything, more important than your position in society and cultural beliefs. If you die, nothing else will matter anymore."
The police are constantly campaigning against gender-based and domestic violence. "Awareness is very important in fighting against this violence, it can be a preventive tool" explains Mwenzangu, adding that to make reporting easier, there is a police representative and a dedicated GBV health officer at every public hospital. Sensitization and punishment of perpetrators will also play a big role in discouraging others who may want to do the same.
As economic dependence has a prominent role in the violence against women and silence, Mukamana pointed out that empowering women can also save their life and improve their social and family wellbeing. "As long as women are totally dependent on their husbands for everything, they will continue to be victims of abuse and take it silently."