Source: The Herald
I have been following media reports recently and it is now common to read stories of men being yanked to court to take care of their own flesh and blood. In some cases, it is men who we do not know, men who are struggling to make ends meet, which may be the reason why things end up becoming messy.
However, in some instances it is men society looks up to; the well-heeled who drive around in flashy cars who find themselves being dragged to court to fulfil their fatherly roles.

What is coming out of the courts is disappointing.
For us, as a country, to wake up daily to stories of fathers who fail or abdicate on their role to provide for the family, says something about us as a people.

While it is a fact that times are hard and most people are struggling to make ends meet, children deserve to be protected and looked after by their parents and in this case, the father takes the leadership role.

While respecting that it is not everyone who is Christian and is, therefore, guided by Christian principles, I will refer to the Bible because for me and many of us in this country, this is the basis upon which everything begins and ends, the Word of God.

According to Christian principles, the father is the head of the home, the instructor of his family and the provider. He is supposed to protect his family and shelter them from the storms of life. What has happened today that fathers no longer take this role as seriously as they should?

The economic emancipation of women in recent years has seen them do their fair share of contributing in the home and the welfare of the children, which is as it should be. But whether this totally exempts men from being fathers is something that I do not buy into.

So why are men giving up this God-given role of being fathers? This week schools opened. As expected some parents faced a lot of stress trying to get everything organised so their children could go to school. Mothers and fathers could be seen running around trying to pay school fees and sort out uniforms ahead of the new term. But we also heard and read of parents who actually failed to pay school fees on time, those who did not even bother to go and talk to the school authorities so that they could agree on some terms of some sort.

Without being brutal; and fully acknowledging that all of us are struggling when it comes to this US dollar, the fact is every parent knows the school term calendar. We all know when schools will open. We also all know what the term "back to school" means and the pressure it brings. I was laughing with my friends a few days ago that you would think after growing up seeing your parents stress during the "back to school" period, you would not face the same challenges yourself.

The reality is that you still face more or less the same issues your parents would have faced.
However, for me the memory which is clear about "back to school" when growing up was how my father would deny us luxuries around this period because all his focus would be on paying school fees. Before the first day of school my father would send me to pay my fees or even go with me to the post office where Government school fees were deposited.

We would join the long queue and I liked it because I would often meet my colleagues from Queen Elizabeth School and chat with them while awaiting our turn.

From there my father and I would go to QE and pay the levy, all before the first day of school.
He was that organised. The whole lot of us, with my sisters who were in boarding schools, would have our fees paid before the first day at school.

The man was not a fancy person. He had a regular job, owned a house in a high-density area, struggled to put luxuries on the table but with school, he got his priorities right for he believed that with an education, his children would be set. His wife did not go to work but worked in the home but still he managed it.

He still managed to have his outing and drinks like every other man in the neighbourhood despite being such a good provider. And do not get me wrong; he was no saint and still is not but he had the basics covered along with many other dads of that time.
Seeing what is happening now, I cannot help but wonder what has happened to the fathers of our time.

We have seen politicians, chief executives, top musicians being hauled before the courts alongside vendors and the unemployed so that they can man up to the responsibility that is theirs.

We see children being ridiculed at school because their parents have not paid anything towards fees? So who do you want to pay so your child can learn?

The high number of maintenance cases at our courts is worrying. Besides the fact that they show that not every male is a real man or a father, they show that families are disintegrating.

Yes, there are some cases where women approach the courts to prompt men they live with to support the family through garnishee orders, but in most cases, divorce is the main reason why you have women going to court to get the children's fathers to support their own flesh and blood.

There is too much divorce around us and the consequence is what we see now men being reminded to do that which no man should be reminded to do.

Because after divorce, most men re-marry and sire other children, what could be happening is they find the burden of looking after two sets of children housed in different places difficult. The children that suffer are the ones that do not reside with the father in most cases.

Without supporting mothers, truth be told; children eat what their mothers eat. But I challenge the fathers today. How do you feel living in some mansion with your current wife or partner and children from that union; knowing that your other children, who never asked to be born in the first place, are living in some shack or struggling to even go to school?

We have rich men who have lavish lifestyles whose children, due to divorce, end up living in high-density areas that they would have never seen while they were still in their fathers' homes.

Food for thought.

• Zimbabwe