Source: Daily Trust
Jos is witnessing a high number of women 'bread winners' who are now burdened with greater responsibilities, due to the various upheavals the state has witnessed. These widows call on the government and general public to hear their cries and help empower them.

Nana Musa is a young widow with 5 children, who lost her husband in 2010. She was told by her husband's colleagues that he had allegedly taken a woman on his commercial motorcycle to an unknown destination in the early hour of January 9, 2010, but he never returned.

For Nana, life has never been the same since then. She has since assumed he was killed and has now taken the burden of caring for her children. She now sells tomatoes and a few condiments in a rented apartment to ,mostly her co-tenants, and says even that is not enough to send her children to school. She also leaves the house every morning at 7am to go to Dilimi street, where she works as a house help and is paid N4,000 monthly.

As luck is on her side, two of her children have recently been accommodated by their uncle ,and she says that she hopes they will get a better life than she can afford to give them. Her eldest daughter is 12years old and has dropped out of school, to help sell tomatoes and condiments for her mother, and look after the two youngest children.

This is the plight of most widows in plateau state; worst of all is the fact that some of them are young and never prepared for it. Many have lost husbands and children as a result of the crises that have bedevilled the state since 2001. Widows in Jos claim they have seen it all, they bear the marks of pain, they have buried husbands and children, they have lost their homes, and they have been left to carry the burden of catering for their children. Some of the widows even claim they have high blood pressure due to this stress.

Halima Abubakar says "I have high blood pressure." The 47 year old widow who lost her husband during the January 2010 upheaval in Jos added "even though I was diagnosed with it some 8 years back, it has become worse since the death of my husband. Life has been difficult, and people tell me not to worry all the time, but I don't have a choice. When you have 7 children, you worry about how to train them or how to survive."

Halima explained "I lost my husband, our home was burnt down along with my business. I used to sew cardigans and owned about 4 machines with employees. Now, I go to a shop where they let me use their machines to sew, so I can take care of myself and the children. Just when things were difficult enough the price of petroleum was increased, and every commodity in the market is now expensive, I have changed my children's school because I can't afford to pay the former fees."

For Mrs Jummai James Lewat, everyday is a struggle since her husband was killed in 2008. "He was a pastor and was shot outside the church. I had hoped that government will pay us some compensation, or even give our children scholarships. Just scholarships for our children would have been enough."

Having lost the pillar of their family, Jummai says she has to struggle to send her children to school. "In some cases I borrow money to add to my salary, so I can send my children to school. I have a job in the accounts department of the University of Jos, but still, it has not been easy, I have to struggle to pay our house rent, feed myself and the children, send them to school and pay medical bills. Really it is a tough life."

There is already a shift in gender roles as more women in Jos are now saddled with the burden of becoming bread winners of the family. Added to this heavy burden, the price of commodities in the market and transportation has escalated, due to the increase in the price of petroleum. "Does the government know that most women are now the bread winners of their families? They have to pay attention to see that there are a lot of widows in the society, who have to take care of orphaned children. We have been crying, but it seems nobody is listening" says Rebecca David Macha.

Muhibbat Abdulrazaq, General Secretary of the Federation of Muslim Women Association of Nigeria (FOMWAN) Plateau state, explained that "We have many pathetic cases of widows being brought to us. For instance, even though the increase in petroleum affects everyone, it is worse on women. Rice used to cost about N250 in the market, and now it's going for about N300. How do you expect a woman who was not able to sustain herself when it was N250, to now sustain herself and her children?"

She added "most of the widows we have come in contact with have high blood pressure. We have a trauma unit at our FOMWAN hospital, and there are many women who fall under this category, battling with high blood pressure because the challenges are enormous. They have lost their husbands, they have children to take care of, and now the standard of living is higher. Schools have increased their fees, making some of the children drop outs, and you find a lot of the young girls hawking to assist their mothers."

Hafsat Abubakar fits this description. She explained "my daughter hawks to help sustain us. The reason why the society is becoming an unsafe place is largely due to the limited roles mothers now play in the moral and religious upbringing of their wards. The moral training of the child is no longer left in our hands. We are busy looking for means of feeding ourselves and our families, and have left the training of our children to outsiders."

She added "I'm not sure that the government even knows about us, and if they don't know we exist how are they going to assist us or our children? That is why they make policies that do not favour us."

But with all the pressure, these women still show strength and resilience, "they may have lost a lot in life; husbands, but women in plateau state are showing strength, they haven't lost their faiths" says Mr Dung Ezekiel Pam, the coordinator of Hope ministry, an NGO in Plateau State.

"For some of them, their major cry is how to handle their children, because some of the children don't listen to their mothers. Once they notice the father is gone, they behave as if they are the boss in the home, since there is no man in the house. If only they will behave well, then they can be the men of the house by assisting their mothers. But you find some of them becoming wayward and getting drunk." Pam explained.

"Women are now men in the society. They have to struggle to feed themselves and the children, and this is a very bad thing. It is pathetic" says Muhibbat. "But if you have no alternative and you must survive then you will act like a man."

For Rebecca, sometimes the situation is difficult, "sometimes it is really difficult, some people give assistance, but there are times I worry a lot, especially when my children are about to resume school, and I have nowhere to raise the money. Even when you are sick, the children will still rely on you because you are everything to them; you are the mother and the father, so we have to keep pushing."

Halima Abubakar added that "We have no choice but to carry on and pray that God have mercy on our souls, and those of our late husbands. There are times when it becomes so difficult, and you don't even have money to buy Panadol.But I just try to remember that with God, everything is possible, and then I pray about it. But really, government can come to our assistance by providing us with loans, instead of adding to our burden by increasing the price of petroleum. How do they expect us to survive in this country, or to send our children to school?"

The Hope ministry may have commenced in 2009, but the coordinator says it is making strides by helping widows in Plateau state acquire soft loans to help them become self reliant. "We call on government to also assist these women through loans so that they can be empowered," Pam said.

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