Source: the Star
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse can take very many forms. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological. The unwanted actions or threats of actions are usually meted out with a view to influence the other person.
The violence includes behaviours that frighten, intimidate, terrorise, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. It usually leaves the victim very shaken and more often than not withdrawn.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. It also affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. At times it is very difficult to know that one is a victim of domestic violence. Sometimes the violence can go on repeatedly to the extent that it becomes a way of life for the couple.
Domestic violence in Kenya was until the recent past been looked at as situation where the victim was always the woman. A lot of work has gone into fighting the vice and or towards protecting the woman. Many international instruments have been put in place all tailored to protecting the women. The Convention on the elimination of all forms of violence against women is one such strong instruments. The Constitution has also introduced Article 45 which provides that all parties are equal in a marriage. Article 27 has made an entry that offers the guarantee to all of equality before the law.
There are some indicates of a physical or emotional abusive relationship, they include;
* A partner who calls you names or continually criticises you.
* A partner who does not trust you, is jealous and isolates you from your family.
* A partner monitors where you go, who you call and spend time with .
* A partner who controls your finances or refuses to share money.
* If your spouse has ever damaged property or hit you in anger, abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
* A partner who has scared you by driving recklessly, used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
* A partner who forces you to leave your home or kept you from leaving, prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
* You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if;
* Your partner constantly accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
* Wants you to dress in a sexual way, calls you dirty names or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
You are also a victim if your partner demands sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you involves other people in sexual activities with you. The forgoing amounts to matrimonial offences are otherwise known as cruelty. Under Section 8 of the Matrimonial causes Act of Kenya, any spouse can file a divorce petition on the ground of cruelty.
Under Article 45 of The Constitution all parties in a marriage are supposed to be equal. Article 27 then provides that we are all entitled to equal protection of the law. As such no one should subject their spouse to the above acts of cruelty. The violence amounts to an inhuman and degrading treatment which is outlawed by Article 28 of the Constitution. A victim of the above inhuman acts is left with no dignity.
The family protection bill and the victim protection bill are pieces of legislation that will come to the aid of the victims of domestic violence. Domestic violence in Kenya has in the recent past taken a new twist. If you thought that the victims are always women, then talk to the recent Nyeri victims. We should fight the vice of domestic violence.